loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
