But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
