you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
