Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
