wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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