i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
