she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
