Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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