She's JV to your varsity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
