started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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