I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
