Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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