yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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