My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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