Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
