Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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