My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
