So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
