she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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