he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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