my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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