you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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