My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize