Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
