1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
