cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she peed on how many people?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
