i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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