my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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