Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Randomize
