no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
