Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize