it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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