sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
