Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
