I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
