OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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