I'm really into asian looking animals
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize