smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
