cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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