also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
