I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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