My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
