I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize