come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
