Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
