btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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