Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
