smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
