best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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