I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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