Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
