it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
