I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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