When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
