The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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