There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i came on her dog
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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