the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
