hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
