She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
