Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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