i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
